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The Most Expensive Customer Service Letter Ever Written

“The client wrote these letters in-house,” the copy supervisor said. “I need you to clean them up and make them on-brand.”

Spoiler alert: This is not, I repeat NOT, about all the billable hours that followed.

Sure the letters were indecipherable, but I’ve been around a while. It only took me the better part of a day to get some clarity from a planner and rewrite all three.

And of course, the usual discussions followed. “Is there a better way to say this?” “That headline’s off-brand.” “Where’s the chart?” “Why’s there still a chart?”

But as I said, this is not about all those billable hours.

These letters were for a pharmacy benefits provider. Two years later, they became my pharmacy benefits provider.

You guessed it, I got one of those letters.

It had obviously been through some rewrites. And now it looked like one of those letters that had been written in-house. I had NO idea what they were telling me.

So I did what millions of customers probably did. I called the call center.

I know that agencies can be expensive. I know that freelance writers can seem expensive.

But how much does it cost a call center to field millions of questions a year?

The Scarf and the Tumor Board: A must read for young creative professionals

The Scarf and the Tumor Board: A must read for young creative professionals

Stay Alert and Have a Safe Day