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Big Google and Me

Originally published on, February 17, 2015

I stepped into a drugstore and Big Google saw me there,
Pinged my phone with whitening strips and toenail fungus care,
Nail clippers with big wide jaws,
Makeup for a facial flaw,
Vitamins for blood plasma,
Free tests for diphtheria,
Big Google must have eyes inside me, so it seems,
Before I get the first itch, I get ads for hemorrhoid creams.

 Thinking of vacation and I took a look at Cannes,
When I left their website, I saw lots of ads for plans,
Airfare that to fit my price,
Must layover for two nights,
A cheap hotel filled with lice,
Café portions made for mice,
Big Google sure must know I don’t have lots to spend,
Every time I browse around, he’s my wallet’s dearest friend.

Stumbled on a meeting 'bout the great apocalypse,
Big Google saw me there and tried to sell what he thought fits,
Treatises for anarchists,
Canned goods for survivalists,
Chemicals for terrorists,
Whips for sadomasochists,
Big Google could care less about my politic or deed,
Big Google's thought police just want all my money.

Copywriting Heresy: “I” can be a more powerful and effective word than “you.”